Walled Prison Island – by Anonymous

The Idea

Build a wall around a country, such as Australia, and then mount turrets on it. Move the scumbag chavs there, and to prevent the from escaping, shoot anyone who approaches the perimeter.

David: This is not my idea, so Australians; it's not me you have to kill.

David's Thoughts on Improvements

First off, I am sure this was done in the past, only no walls. Secondly, I do believe the Australians would complain.

Wouldn't a better solution to be to use the North of South Poles, and send all forms of criminal there? Heck, we could even implement my Chav Wheel idea. The inmates would have to run on the wheel to prevent dying of hypothermia.

If this idea ever did come to fruition there are many advantages to it, first, there would no longer be a problem of prison overcrowding. We could tear them down or use them as theme parks to generate a bit of revenue; heck, we could even charge other countries to put their criminals in the new "Super Prison". Hmm, this looks promising: money from other countries, no prison overcrowding, and hamster, correction chav wheel electricity.

Steven: The idea doesn't seem too bad.

David: Ha, there's a flaw in it: the North and South Poles are neutral territory.

David: Balls! I've just ruined the plan… Damn, shit, arse!

Steven: One of the few times I'll say it: LOL.

Regular Updates Here

hello my fellow insane people i have decided to regular updates to my blog, i at least 1 a week if i dont feel free to complain to the complaints deparment the Dog ... Buster .... From Hell, he is good at his job no ones complained yet, ... would you believe some one is actually engaged to me and there real ... add me on facebook if you dont believe me ... bewarned i rant on facebook i dont really get it byt meh i can start my own political party maybe ...

What would happen if?

Right i know this may be a bit out dated, well quite a bit out dated 3 - 4 months perhaps but the large hydrogen colider it isn't going to destroy the world i know this because i did some research and i did physics. However if people did a bit of research they would also discover that it aint going to kill us so i have 2 questions.

Firstly what would happen if people acctually started to do some research instead of worring about things? like the large hydrogen colider.

And What would happen if i was to mix pepsi and coke cola? would the world as a result suffer total existance failurer? would the religious nut cases think i am dooming us all? or this is the most likely one will the little pepsi pixies try to kill me for such insulance to such a wonderful drink?

who knows but if in the next week your stuff starts too litterally disappear you know it has been caused by my experiment and the matter in the universe is starting to fail.

USE

This blog is soon to be put to some good use ... ie more ramblings of a mad man, however its going to be interactive well sort of you my followers readers what ever you like to call yourselves will give me a topic and i will come up with something about it who knows it may acctually make sense

Be Nice to be evil

Do you work?

Are you a student?

Are you an evil bastard?

If you answered yes to any of these continue reading else ... read anyway.

There used to be a time when good manners where praised and a nesaccary in order to get a good job, well they're still needed however try being nice constantly its genius.

If you work in a shop be extra nice to the customers, sort of american style with English class e.g. good morning, hope you have a nice day. if you forced to sell something that is pointless e.g. Topups!!! simply go to tthe customer would you like a top up i know you would of asked if you needed one but the managers making me she/he beats me if i dont, make sure they know your joking. have a little banter as well.

99.9% percent of the time customers will like your apparent sense of humor and politeness heck you'll even get compliments. if there is an area manager for the store you work at they'll love you as well... but you normal manager and fellow colleagues will hate you for being happy especially on a monday morning but they cant do anything about it, especially if the area manager aand the regular customers like you. its fun to watch people come in after a night out with a bit of a hangover and cant be bothered as soon as they see you being nice and happy they'll start getting pissed and the fun begins because the nicer you are the angrier they get the worse there day becomes the more they start hating there job .

Uses of ... chavs

1. Human, sort of, Shields
2. Target Practice
3. Chav Bowling
   - let me explain it’s like a giant version of ten pin bowling except chavs instead of pins and a tank instead of a bowling ball and the objective is to kill them all in less than 30 seconds you get a point for each chav double for 10 and there are 10 rounds.
4. Boxing Bag
   They like calling people so its an incentive to hit them harder
5. Chav Baiting
   Have you heard of bear baiting where people tie up a bear and let animals attack if for entertainment well we don’t think that’s nice so we have changed the bear for a chav.
6. Shark Bait
7. Crash test Dummies
   lets face it they will be a lot more realistic than those poor dummies they use.
8. Lab rats/guinea pigs
9. Crap Slave Labour
10. 9 was pushing it

Uses of ... a pan

1. Helmet
2. Gold Fish bowl For one that is afraid of the outside world
3. A tennis bat
4. Foot Stool
5. Toilet
6. A drum (hell if you have a lot of them a drum kit)
7. Cup
8. A bath for a baby
9. A boat for a small child
10. A shelter For really really small animals

Decide The Fate Of My Laptop

Spec :

2gig of DDR2 Ram
intel celeron dual core 1.73GHz
120gig Hardrive
Sis Mirage chipset for graphics 128mb dedicated 256mb leached

simple the opinion pole to the right make your choice and post comments destroying its not an answer sorry

Sorry

Right Here the thing i hate microsoft no denying it, but i liked paint, it was simple and easy to use i liked the fact it hadn't changed in the 10 years i used it, along comes vista - it aint even worthy of a capital letter, i have been using it on my laptop since i got the damn thing got it working reasonably ... ish even seamless intergration with ubunt looks cool, but when i finally come to use paint 2 month after i got my laptop for my next comic ... the fucked it up the paints are at the top WTF!!!!!!!!! colors drop down menu omg y???? I loved paint, it was an excuse for drawing badly, now its crap it doesn't look as good, the cool hold shift down and you have your own paint brush is crapper.

so as of this min i am using the gimp to do my stupid comics. unless i install xp

and if i have to install another popup saying check my UAC settings, i disabled them they're piss anoying, ... UBUNTU here i come i dont care my wireless card wont work!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!13! i have a 3g mobile broadband stick which you support now, go ubuntu. i will even install and dual boot Backtrack3.

Solving World Crises with 15 Foot Weetabix – Anonymous

This idea is the product of conversation, one half of which was drunk, which took place in a pub in Oxford, 'round about during the June/July 2007 UK floods. It is, therefore, no cause for surprise that this is one of the more well thought out ideas…

The Idea

A Weetabix is a fairly absorbent thing; in fact a normal 4 inch one can absorb maybe about 150ml of milk. Using a simple bit of maths, scaling all the dimensions, a 15 foot Weetabix, which is 45 time the length, could absorb about 13700 litres.

Instead of using it to absorb milk, it could be used to absorb floodwater, and so with enough of them, all the excess floodwater could be mopped up and gotten rid of. It doesn't end there, however…

A Weetabix is also a rather nutritious cereal, containing fibre, protein, and a fair few vitamins and minerals. This means that the 15 foot Weetabix, along with all the water it has soaked up, could be used to end both world hunger, and world drought.

The Problem

David: Here is the problem My Maths btw not yinder yee steven's (the guy behind some of the maths above)

A pack of Weetabix is approximately 99p and you get 12, so 1 Weetabix costs 8.25p pretty cheap until you work out how much for 1 15 foot Weetabix which is 45 * 45 * 45 times bigger so 1 costs 751781.25p or £7517.81 and a bit but since you can only buy them in packs of 12 a pack of 12 45 foot Weetabix costs £90213.75 not so cheap and I don’t think you’ll get them from ASDA possibly an American Wal-Mart in the snacks section but not in the UK.

So this idea was not well thought out.